很多父母会对孩子不听话感到很头疼，不听话真的一定就是坏事吗？

Dear Mom,

亲爱的妈咪，

The big question appalled and surprised parents often ask their child after a confrontational orrevelatory moment is, "Where did you get this attitude from?" I know you hate to admit it, but I get much of my determined and strong-willed nature from you.

经过一阵对抗和宣泄之后，震惊的父母通常会问：“你的这种态度是哪里来的?”我知道你不乐意承认这些，但我这坚持不懈的性格，大多都是从你那里学来的。

Mom, I know it’s hard dealing with the teenage angst and the ever-changing moods that come with raising a child. But you should also marvel at the fact that I’ve made it this far, that I’m healthy and happy.

妈妈，我知道对为青春期的孩子担忧的感受不好受，也知道你的心情因为养育孩子而跌宕起伏。但你也应该惊叹于我已经成长到了这一步，而我现在健康又快乐。

When I was small, I would attend barbecues and family events and wander away from my parents. It wouldn’t be long before someone would stop me to ask whether I was my mother’s daughter.

小时候，我会在烧烤派对和家庭活动中离开父母自己到处跑。不久，总会有人拦住我问我是不是我母亲的女儿。

"Your mom is Melissa," they’d say, a warm smile on their faces. "Is that right?" I would nod, I assume, parents feel when their child talks back or defies them, I was appalled at this statement. To me, I acted nothing like you, Mom.

“你妈妈是梅丽莎，”他们会带着温暖的微笑问，“对吧?”我会点头，我想，当孩子顶撞父母的时候，父母在感情上肯定很受伤吧，我当时被这个想法震惊到了。在我看来，我和你一点都不像啊，妈妈。

No one says, "I know you’re Melissa’s daughter because of your eyes and nose" it’s the charactertraits that seal the deal. Dry wit, intelligence, and yes, maybe a little bit of attitude—these are the things I am grateful I have received from you. There’s nothing wrong with having attitude.

没有人会说：“我知道你是梅利莎的女儿，是因为你的眼睛和鼻子和你妈妈很像”其实，性格特点的相似才是背后的原因。我很高兴我从你那遗传了我的机智、聪明，可能还有一点倔劲儿。这样的性格没有什么不对的。

。

Like for most black individuals, attitude is what defines you and me, and it’s what keeps us from being mentally oppressed and defeated. Attitude is a non-violent form of protection and confrontation -- where would we be in the world without this tool? Surely not where we are.

像对大多数黑人一样，这倔劲儿是我们的标志，它使我们免于在精神上受到压迫和击败。态度是一种非暴力的自保与对抗，如果没有这个工具，我们的生活将是怎样?肯定没有现在这么好。

Mom, when people ask me where I get my attitude from, I tell them: you. And when they ask me where I got my drive, my work ethic, my good hair, and my sense of humor, I say you as well. I will always say this.

妈妈，当人们问我这倔劲儿是从哪来的，我会告诉他们，是从你那来的。当他们问我在哪里获得动力、职业道德、我的好发质和幽默感，我也会说是你。我会永远这样说。

When I’m asked why I am the way I am -- why I refuse to allow others to hurt me with their words or actions, why I think and speak about things openly and without fear—I’ll tell them it's because of you.

当别人问起我为什么会这样处事——我为什么不许别人用言语或者言行伤害我，为什么我可以毫无恐惧的坦然的说出我所想的事——我会告诉他们，是因为你。

I’ll complain to you about the arguments between us that leave me wondering about how God made us so much alike that we hardly even noticed.

我要跟你谈谈我们的那些冲突，它们让我很好奇上帝是如何使我们如此相像，以至于我们几乎没有注意到。

But I’ll tell them about you.

但我会跟别人说，我的优点都来自你。

Love,

爱你的

Malahni

马拉尼

你怎么看待不听话的孩子呢？

很多父母会对孩子不听话感到很头疼，不听话真的一定就是坏事吗？

Dear Mom,

亲爱的妈咪，

The big question appalled and surprised parents often ask their child after a confrontational orrevelatory moment is, "Where did you get this attitude from?" I know you hate to admit it, but I get much of my determined and strong-willed nature from you.

经过一阵对抗和宣泄之后，震惊的父母通常会问：“你的这种态度是哪里来的?”我知道你不乐意承认这些，但我这坚持不懈的性格，大多都是从你那里学来的。

Mom, I know it’s hard dealing with the teenage angst and the ever-changing moods that come with raising a child. But you should also marvel at the fact that I’ve made it this far, that I’m healthy and happy.

妈妈，我知道对为青春期的孩子担忧的感受不好受，也知道你的心情因为养育孩子而跌宕起伏。但你也应该惊叹于我已经成长到了这一步，而我现在健康又快乐。

When I was small, I would attend barbecues and family events and wander away from my parents. It wouldn’t be long before someone would stop me to ask whether I was my mother’s daughter.

小时候，我会在烧烤派对和家庭活动中离开父母自己到处跑。不久，总会有人拦住我问我是不是我母亲的女儿。

"Your mom is Melissa," they’d say, a warm smile on their faces. "Is that right?" I would nod, I assume, parents feel when their child talks back or defies them, I was appalled at this statement. To me, I acted nothing like you, Mom.

“你妈妈是梅丽莎，”他们会带着温暖的微笑问，“对吧?”我会点头，我想，当孩子顶撞父母的时候，父母在感情上肯定很受伤吧，我当时被这个想法震惊到了。在我看来，我和你一点都不像啊，妈妈。

No one says, "I know you’re Melissa’s daughter because of your eyes and nose" it’s the charactertraits that seal the deal. Dry wit, intelligence, and yes, maybe a little bit of attitude—these are the things I am grateful I have received from you. There’s nothing wrong with having attitude.

没有人会说：“我知道你是梅利莎的女儿，是因为你的眼睛和鼻子和你妈妈很像”其实，性格特点的相似才是背后的原因。我很高兴我从你那遗传了我的机智、聪明，可能还有一点倔劲儿。这样的性格没有什么不对的。

。

Like for most black individuals, attitude is what defines you and me, and it’s what keeps us from being mentally oppressed and defeated. Attitude is a non-violent form of protection and confrontation -- where would we be in the world without this tool? Surely not where we are.

像对大多数黑人一样，这倔劲儿是我们的标志，它使我们免于在精神上受到压迫和击败。态度是一种非暴力的自保与对抗，如果没有这个工具，我们的生活将是怎样?肯定没有现在这么好。

Mom, when people ask me where I get my attitude from, I tell them: you. And when they ask me where I got my drive, my work ethic, my good hair, and my sense of humor, I say you as well. I will always say this.

妈妈，当人们问我这倔劲儿是从哪来的，我会告诉他们，是从你那来的。当他们问我在哪里获得动力、职业道德、我的好发质和幽默感，我也会说是你。我会永远这样说。

When I’m asked why I am the way I am -- why I refuse to allow others to hurt me with their words or actions, why I think and speak about things openly and without fear—I’ll tell them it's because of you.

当别人问起我为什么会这样处事——我为什么不许别人用言语或者言行伤害我，为什么我可以毫无恐惧的坦然的说出我所想的事——我会告诉他们，是因为你。

I’ll complain to you about the arguments between us that leave me wondering about how God made us so much alike that we hardly even noticed.

我要跟你谈谈我们的那些冲突，它们让我很好奇上帝是如何使我们如此相像，以至于我们几乎没有注意到。

But I’ll tell them about you.

但我会跟别人说，我的优点都来自你。

Love,

爱你的

Malahni

马拉尼

你怎么看待不听话的孩子呢？