You Should Absolutely Never Go to Disneyland

千万别去迪士尼！

Disneyland is not at all what you think, trust us. Here are reasons you really shouldn't go. You've been warned.

相信我们，迪士尼乐园根本就不是你想的那样。下面是千万别去迪士尼的理由，我们可是警告过你了哦。

The mint juleps taste way too good. You'll be depressed by the taste of all other juleps.

薄荷朱利酒真的太好喝了。所以其它朱利酒都会让你感到失望。

Your neck will hurt from constantly looking up at all the grand attractions. Geez, can there not be so many architectural wonders?

不断地抬头看著名建筑，会脖子疼。老天，能不能少来点建筑美景？

There are balloons everywhere. What's with all the pretty balloons? Like, WTF.

到处都是气球。要这些好看的气球有什么用呢？搞什么？

The park is always springing surprises on you. Sometimes you might not feel like being surprised with confetti and joy.

乐园里都是惊喜。但有时候全都是彩纸和欢乐声，你反而觉得没那么惊喜了。

The characters are TOO nice. Why are they being so polite and obliging?

卡通人物太好了！为什么他们总是如此彬彬有礼、乐于助人呢？

There are too many photo opportunities. Your phone will run out of storage within, like, five minutes. Great.

你想拍的照片太多了。比如，五分钟后，你的手机就没有内存了，太棒了！

Everyone who enters is happy ALL THE TIME. Why?! Why is there so much positivity and happiness?

迪士尼里面每个人都很开心，一直笑容满面。为什么？为什么这么正能量，充满欢乐呢？

The mouse ear choices are so cute it might make you sick. Like, how the freak are you supposed to choose just one? Not possible.

有各种各样的老鼠耳朵，可爱到会让你感到不舒服。比如说，如果你只选了一只耳朵，别人都会以为你是变态的。太不可能了！

The It's a Small World ride will make you feel like a giant. The world will feel, like, so big.

迪士尼的小小世界项目会让你感觉自己是个巨人。你会感觉这个世界十分巨大。

The weather almost never changes - it's basically nice all the time. Can we get some storms every once in a while?

天气基本都是一样的--基本上一直是晴天。能不能偶尔来点暴风雨呢？

There are so many rides to go on. Sometimes all the options can really stress a person out.

有太多的项目了。有时候游玩项目太多会让人倍感压力的。

There's a statue of Walt Disney that will make you cry. Curse you, Disney, why make us cry?!

华特·迪士尼的雕像会让你潸然泪下。迪士尼，我诅咒你，你为什么要让我这么感动？！

Apparently the place is . . . Yikes.

很显然，这个地方太……太棒了！

You have to go to a whole other place called California Adventure too. So much work.

玩过迪士尼之后，你还要去玩另一个叫做加州冒险的游乐场。太累了。

You always feel obligated to go on the roller coasters. Because people say they're incredibly fun and stuff so you have to be polite, of course.

你总觉得自己有义务玩过山车。因为其他人说过山车很好玩，作为礼貌的回应，你必须玩一把。

The Dole Whips are chronically addicting. It's a problem; there should probably be Dole Whips Anonymous meetings.

多尔冰淇淋会让人上瘾的。这是个问题；应该有多尔冰淇淋匿名互戒协会。

There are too many frozen treats to choose from. Choices, gah, too many choices.

有太多冷冻食品可以选择了。额，选择，太多选择了。

The rides will cause uncontrollable screams of bliss and an intense adrenaline rush. Can you handle losing control? Not everyone can.

游乐项目会让你幸福地失控尖叫，而且肾上腺素也会激增。你能控制自己不失态吗？可不是每个人都能哦。

You Should Absolutely Never Go to Disneyland

千万别去迪士尼！

Disneyland is not at all what you think, trust us. Here are reasons you really shouldn't go. You've been warned.

相信我们，迪士尼乐园根本就不是你想的那样。下面是千万别去迪士尼的理由，我们可是警告过你了哦。

The mint juleps taste way too good. You'll be depressed by the taste of all other juleps.

薄荷朱利酒真的太好喝了。所以其它朱利酒都会让你感到失望。

Your neck will hurt from constantly looking up at all the grand attractions. Geez, can there not be so many architectural wonders?

不断地抬头看著名建筑，会脖子疼。老天，能不能少来点建筑美景？

There are balloons everywhere. What's with all the pretty balloons? Like, WTF.

到处都是气球。要这些好看的气球有什么用呢？搞什么？

The park is always springing surprises on you. Sometimes you might not feel like being surprised with confetti and joy.

乐园里都是惊喜。但有时候全都是彩纸和欢乐声，你反而觉得没那么惊喜了。

The characters are TOO nice. Why are they being so polite and obliging?

卡通人物太好了！为什么他们总是如此彬彬有礼、乐于助人呢？

There are too many photo opportunities. Your phone will run out of storage within, like, five minutes. Great.

你想拍的照片太多了。比如，五分钟后，你的手机就没有内存了，太棒了！

Everyone who enters is happy ALL THE TIME. Why?! Why is there so much positivity and happiness?

迪士尼里面每个人都很开心，一直笑容满面。为什么？为什么这么正能量，充满欢乐呢？

The mouse ear choices are so cute it might make you sick. Like, how the freak are you supposed to choose just one? Not possible.

有各种各样的老鼠耳朵，可爱到会让你感到不舒服。比如说，如果你只选了一只耳朵，别人都会以为你是变态的。太不可能了！

The It's a Small World ride will make you feel like a giant. The world will feel, like, so big.

迪士尼的小小世界项目会让你感觉自己是个巨人。你会感觉这个世界十分巨大。

The weather almost never changes - it's basically nice all the time. Can we get some storms every once in a while?

天气基本都是一样的--基本上一直是晴天。能不能偶尔来点暴风雨呢？

There are so many rides to go on. Sometimes all the options can really stress a person out.

有太多的项目了。有时候游玩项目太多会让人倍感压力的。

There's a statue of Walt Disney that will make you cry. Curse you, Disney, why make us cry?!

华特·迪士尼的雕像会让你潸然泪下。迪士尼，我诅咒你，你为什么要让我这么感动？！

Apparently the place is . . . Yikes.

很显然，这个地方太……太棒了！

You have to go to a whole other place called California Adventure too. So much work.

玩过迪士尼之后，你还要去玩另一个叫做加州冒险的游乐场。太累了。

You always feel obligated to go on the roller coasters. Because people say they're incredibly fun and stuff so you have to be polite, of course.

你总觉得自己有义务玩过山车。因为其他人说过山车很好玩，作为礼貌的回应，你必须玩一把。

The Dole Whips are chronically addicting. It's a problem; there should probably be Dole Whips Anonymous meetings.

多尔冰淇淋会让人上瘾的。这是个问题；应该有多尔冰淇淋匿名互戒协会。

There are too many frozen treats to choose from. Choices, gah, too many choices.

有太多冷冻食品可以选择了。额，选择，太多选择了。

The rides will cause uncontrollable screams of bliss and an intense adrenaline rush. Can you handle losing control? Not everyone can.

游乐项目会让你幸福地失控尖叫，而且肾上腺素也会激增。你能控制自己不失态吗？可不是每个人都能哦。